Wishing You A Positive 2023
Wishing you all a happy and healthy 2023. In social work we often use a strengths based perspective when looking to make changes or set goals. Basically this means looking at your strengths (aka the things you are good at or are doing well) and finding ways to build on those strengths to make the desired change.
So this year, let's challenge the "new year, new you" narrative. Instead, think of what you are good at or doing well in your life, and let's figure out how to translate that into what you want to get out of the year. Once you have a basic idea based on your strengths, figure out how that would look in real life if you were successful. That is your long term goal.
Once you have a realistic long term goal, it is time to figure out how to get there. Often times people only look to the long term goal but expect short term success, aka instant gratification. For example, if I said I want to lose 20 pounds, I may find myself disappointed and discouraged when two weeks in I have only lost 2 pounds. Setting smaller, attainable, measurable goals helps to keep us accountable and allows us to feel successful even when we have not met our final goal.
What does this look like in real life? How do you actually make this work for you? Below are some examples to help give you an idea how simple it is to use this concept in your everyday life.
A Real Life Example:
Original Goal- I want to lose weight and get healthy.
There are a few "problems" with this goal. It lacks detail as to what "get healthy" would mean. My version of "being healthy" may be significantly different from a doctor or dietitian's idea of "being healthy". Without context, it is touch to know what we are working towards. This goal is also not measurable, meaning there is no concrete way to know when you succeed. Finally, this goal looks at things we think are "wrong" or negative about ourselves that should be fixed.
Strength Based Goal - I am a good Mom/Dad/Caregiver to (your person). I want to use my caregiving skills to take better care of myself in 2023.
While this goal still lacks context (i.e. what does "take better care of myself" mean) and does not provide a way to measure success, it does look at what the person is good at (caring for others) and how she/he/they want to use those skills to make positive change in their life.
Why? - I would like to have better overall health and an improved mood.
The why is important because it will help you to determine what your short term goals need to be. The why is what you hope to achieve in the long run. If you cannot make this measurable or more detailed initially, do not stress. As you build on your positive skills and the things you succeed it, you may find it easier to detail what this means and how you will know when you have achieved it. It is essential, however, to make sure your short term goals are measurable and not vague. By making your short term goals realistic, measurable, and attainable, you will provide yourself with the stepping stones to meet your overall goal.
In order to determine your short term goals, reflect back on your strength based goal. Ask yourself - what caregiving skills do I use to take great care of (my person)?
Maybe you make sure your kids have well-balanced lunches or you make sure to include a fruit and vegetable in each of their meals…
Maybe you make sure your kids go to bed each night by a certain time to ensure they get enough sleep…
Maybe you care for an aging parent and try to support their memory and provide comfort by reminiscing on years past each night before bed…
How can you translate these skills you already have to better care for yourself? That is how you determine your short term goals.
Short Term Goals -
I will only order takeout once per week.
I will bring my lunch to work 4 days per week.
I will eat fruits and vegetables at 50% of my meals.
I will take 10 minutes each day to relax by (reading, journaling, stretching, etc.)
I will go to sleep by 10:00pm Monday through Thursday.
These small short term goals (eating out less, eating more fruits and vegetables, prioritizing mental health, and getting adequate sleep) all work towards our long term goal of better health and better mood. By making measurable goals, we are able to track how successful we are. We can easily note in a journal, on our phones, or on a scrap paper how successful we were each week. This could be as simple as checkmarks, as pretty as a bullet journal, or anywhere in between. This provides a sense of accomplishment each week, not only when we achieve our long term goal.
Once you are successful for a period of time, you can also very easily adjust your goals to continue building on your success. This period of time may be one week, one month, one year - however long you feel is needed to feel confident in your abilities to maintain the successes you are seeing.
Adjusted Goals for Success -
I will only order takeout twice a month.
I will bring my lunch to work everyday (unless there is a special occasion/work event)
I will eat fruits and vegetables at 75% of my meals.
I will take 20 minutes each day to relax and focus on my mental well-being by (reading, journaling, stretching, etc.)
I will go to sleep by 10:00pm each weeknight and by 12:00am on the weekends.
They can also be adjusted if you are not successful in order to increase your chances of being successful.
Adjusted Goals when Not Successful -
I will only order takeout twice per week. Or I will buy prepared meals that only require heating instead of takeout once each week.
I will bring my lunch to work twice per week.
I will eat fruits or vegetables at 25-50% of my meals.
I will take 10 minutes twice a week to relax by (reading, journaling, stretching, doing nothing at all, etc.)
I will go to sleep by 10:00pm twice a week.
Eventually as these short term goals become a habit, you can also expand and add new short term goals.
Expanded Short Term Goals -
I will increase my water intake to 80 ounces per day.
I will decrease my caffeine intake to two cups of coffee/tea/soda/etc. per day.
I will exercise for 30 minutes three times per week.
I will practice good sleep hygiene by not using my phone 30 minutes before bed each night.
Remember - you are already an incredibly successful human in many ways! Let's build on those successes instead of focusing on our shortcomings. In more cases than not, when we focus on the positive and how to expand on it, we will end up more successful, more happy, and less stressed. Here's to trying to make 2023 a good year for us all.
Sending love, strength, and support your way,
Ashley